Hoochie mama

So, here it is. Last day of being 23. Quick round up of what I've done so far:

Got up

Had a shower

Put on clean jeans (special occasion innit)

Wore my favourite perfume (L by De Lolita Lempicka if you were wondering)

Ambled to work (took a train, it was full of arsehole kids going somewhere. They had no guardian with them, which worried me. They're going to get into all sorts of japes, I'm sure. There was also a woman on the train who took about 10 minutes to find her seat, which just happened to be the one I was sat in. There should be some sort of rule. It wasn't a big train, three carriages max, why has it taken you this long to find your seat you dozy mare? My new rule states that if you aren't in your seat 10 minutes from the train departing from the station on your ticket, you lose your seat for being a total idiot.)

Watched a guide dog chew its own foot. I could not stop laughing. Silly thing.

Ate a pastrami and gherkin sandwich for breakfast (well, you're only 23 years, 364 days old once)

Listened to a colleague's sordid tales from the night before

My friend Leanne told me that her nan has a guide dog, but she only pretends to be blind for attention. Once they went to the Tate gallery in Liverpool, and her nan stood, like, 3cms from a picture to make out like she couldn't see it. Old people are funny. I'll be old tomorrow.

BRB, going to cry.