Wednesday 19 August 2009

Sorry.

I have broken my blog silence to bring this update. I have nothing to say, but I am livid about a number of things, so I'm going to write and write and write, and then I might feel better.

Today started very badly. I can only hope that by the time I get home, things will have rectified themselves... either that, or I will die on the way home. That's the sort of day this is turning in to. I am scared to go to the bank after work, after this speight of bad luck, in case they give me more bad news which will, more than likely, ruin my life. Oh, but actually, I forgot that I am probably due to die on the way home anyway.

Wednesday 5 August 2009

The moon!


The moon!
Originally uploaded by xelliex
I love it when there's a full moon. Sometimes I get all weirded out because the moon that we see from our humble little England, is the same as this moon that millions of people can see in America. Wow.

Sunday 12 July 2009

Alright?

FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO BLOG ABOUT!!

Oh yeah, I completely forgot that I could make Spotify playlists to share with people!
So, I have taken the liberty of trying to make the past mixes I've documented to share here.

In Position - this hasn't come out that great cos hardly any of the songs were on Spotify (gay). You get the jist, though.

Paul CD Feb '07 - worked much better. Grand, in fact. I think there are only 2 songs missing from it.

HOPE YOU ENJOY THEM!

Today, I'm going to brave The Trafford Centre.
There's something so creepy about consumer culture. I just don't 'GET' shopping malls. Why has shopping had to become an 'experience'? The Trafford Centre is mental. A big postmodern mess of architectural styles borrowed from ancient Rome & Greece, and then a food court based on the Titanic or something, with a cinema and an arcade stuck on the side. Absolutely crackers. The people who go there are a mess. Idiots who are shamelessly trying to buy into a lifestyle choice.
D00dz, chillax. I might take photos today.

Mainly listening to Prett Girls Make Graves today. Been a while.

Wednesday 8 July 2009

Why does soya milk curdle in coffee????

Okay, just a quick one. Made that cup of coffee, and the soya milk curdled. It pisses me off when this happens, cos it looks gross. Still tastes okay, but people generally comment on it, and anyone commenting on my food REALLY WINDS ME UP.

Googled it, and got this site.

He says:

The weird part is that soy milk curdles in coffee sometimes, but not always.

The curdling occurs when the acid in the coffee coagulates the proteins in the soy milk. Instant tofu!

How to avoid it? Tough question. Curdling seems to be a triggered by a variety of factors, including the brand of the soy milk, the heat of the coffee, the acidity of the coffee and even the speed with which the soy milk is added.

Looking through other people’s experience with the curdling soy problem, here are a few tips you can try.

1. Shake your soy milk thoroughly before pouring.

2. Pour the soy milk into your cup or mug first.

3. Then pour in the coffee, slowly.



But I think you should put the milk in AFTER the coffee. Again, just saying.
The curdling has ruined my first coffee in about 2 weeks. Good old life.

Nothing but flowers

I keep coming across little mixes that people have made for me down the years. I've decided I might document them.
I'm definitely going to document this one, because I found it on my iPod this morning, while doing a search for another album, and remembered instantly how great it is.

It was made by My Friend Paul for me when I was ill at the very beginning of 2007 (aptly named, in my iPod, as 'Paul CD Feb '07'). He sent it in an envelope of other great stuff to cheer me up, including this song request someone gave him:



Not sure why he had that on his person, but it made me chuckle anyway.

Okay, to the CD! It came packaged in a little plastic wallet, and the cover / tracklisting had been folded in an almost origami style way, so that the front had the picture on (pink, with a kitten on it), and the back had the tracklisting, which was printed in white along the edge. I haven't done the description justice, but it really is marvellous.



Some notes:

  • That Mint Royale song is a staple mix song, it's the like the glue that holds it all together
  • The Field Music song is probably one of my favourite songs ever. It's important to know these things, right?
  • I like that Semifinalists song, until it kicks in... then, not so much.
  • If you've never heard that Dananananananananana song... then you should.
  • I just checked my Last.Fm, and it says I've only listened to the Field Music song 11 times, but my iPod says 39 times. Just saying.
  • Everything else on here is classic. Check out the sneaky bit of Op Ivy and that BRILLIANT Talking Heads song (which got wrongly tagged by Paul as 'Time' by Tom Waits. Either would have been acceptable)
I wish I had a copy of the artwork, it was mega. But yeah, there you have it, one of my favourite things anyone has made for me. I've got quite a lot more knocking about, it's just a matter of finding them.

I think this week I'll be having a cheeky go at reviewing a BOOK OR TWO. I've started reading The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. It's only taken me about 5 years to actually buy this book. Got it yesterday and can't put it down. I don't want to speculate too soon, but I think it could be one of my favourites already. Depends what the end is like. Don't think it's going to overtake anything by Donna Tartt. I've also got a copy of Pride & Prejudice to read. I've never been into books of this ilk, but I think that now is the time to try and read them. Even if all the romance stuff drives me insane. I WANT MURDERS AND SUSPENSE IN MY BOOKS!
Watch this space for reviews. Tell me more books to read. I thought I should read more after preaching to one of my more stupid colleagues about how that, now she doesn't have a TV (it broke), she should probably start to read (her English is BAAAD. She says she has mild Dyslexia, I just think she needs to read more), and not trash (she said she was reading Marion Keyes or something), SOME MODERN CLASSICS. Camus, Plath, Orwell, Kerouac. She looked at me as if I had just killed her kids. I should really practice what I preach, though, so that's why I'm embarking on this reading journey. Wonder how many I can read in the next fornight.

Today I would like nothing more than to play Diner Dash, stare into space, READ THE LOVELY BONES, go shopping for clothes (tried on this yesterday, it looked RUBBISH cos i couldn't fill it out enough. FML. I love that dress so much!)... instead, I am doing the most tedious, but necessary, job of data inputting. I should really be getting on with it, but writing this is much more fun and time consuming.

Cup of coffee and I will start. I swear.

Thursday 2 July 2009

See a sweet in floral print, my mind begins the arrangements

Stuck waiting for a train to Runcorn, so thought I would bust out a blog while no one is bothering me.

Got back from Glastonbury the other day. Won't bore you with details of who I saw, cos you probably saw more than I did on the telly, but Blur were a highlight, as were Animal Collective, The Horrors and LADY GAGA. I love her now. It was always a bit touch and go as to whether me and GaGs would get on, but I think we've reconciled now. Great weekend was had by all. It rained a bit, it was mega sunny and one guy shit himself. Not anyone I know.

Just on the train now. People don't half make a blood fuss getting on trains, don't they?

Thursday 25 June 2009

Homelessness

Gonna go a bit emo here, but bear with me.

There was a programme on last night called Famous, Rich and Homeless, whose basic premise was taking some rich, 'famous' (loosest sense of the word... The Guardian have gone with the term 'fairly famous', I still think this is a little bit too much creedence... if you know who Les Battersby is, then you're on the right track) folk and dumping them on the streets of London with no money and a sleeping bag, and letting them survive as a rough sleeper. It as gnarly. The Marquis of Blandford couldn't hack it and stayed in a hotel, but the rest of them slogged it out and devised their own ways of making money just to get them through. The Big Issue website sums it up better than I can

Guided throughout by John Bird, the five begin their ten day experience being dropped off in different areas of London, where they spend their days and nights trying to survive on the streets. The physical and emotional toll challenges their preconceptions and prejudices about homelessness, its causes, and the ease with which people can escape it.The participants have 10 homes and a palace between them, Famous, Rich & Homeless focuses their minds and ours on those who don’t.


And it really did focus my thinking. Despite the fact that my flatmate works for The Big Issue (not as a street vendor, as a fundraiser), and I also come into contact with people who sleep rough a lot of the time, I never fully think about how properly awful it must be to actually be stuck out there and having to tell people things in order to get money just to not feel completely rotten and hungry or thirsty for a little while. All I ever think is 'I'm glad that's not me'.
There was a woman on the programme who had perfected a sob story and told it to a girl who gave her all the money she had on her. The girl then came back with £40 she'd just taken from the cash machine for her. Granted, this is slightly mental and I probably wouldn't go that far myself, but it was so comforting to know that there are people out there who are kind, compassionate and caring enough about people they don't even know.

On my way to work, I come across quite a lot of homeless people. I don't ignore them, but I never feel a big urge to help them out, either. A frail looking middle aged lady approached me and gave me her story about sleeping rough and how she used to work the dole, but now she had no job and nowhere to live. She made me feel really sad, so I gave her some money. I almost had a lump in my throat when she was thanking me profusely. I rounded the corner, and the usual woman was selling the Big Issue. I almost passed out with the wave of guilt that washed over me. I bought a copy. It was her last one. She looked well happy, which made me happy. I would definitely rather she had my money than I spend it on some junk, as that is what invariably happens on a daily basis.

Anyway, I guess the ending to all of this is that you should probably just THINK a little bit when you see someone who is worse off than you, and if you can, HELP THEM!

The Big Issue and Centre Point are probably the two main ones when it comes to helping out with homeless issues, as well as Shelter and Crisis. There are more specialist ones like Grand Central Savings and St Mungo's.

You get my sentiment. Here are some causes that I'm quite passionate about and help out when I can:


Macmillan
NSPCC / Action For Children
Addaction / Drugsline / Phoenix Futures
Amnesty International
Dignity! Period.

Wednesday 24 June 2009

Really quick blog about important things

Here is some important stuff that I need to say before I leave work in approximately 5 minutes (slacking cos the boss has gone home early. As usual. Lead by example, that's what I say):
  • I couldn't be bothered to write a blog post about Britain's Got Talent LIVE!, but it's okay cos the entire evening has been documented HERE!!!!
    What fails to make the cut is that we got back home in time for Big Brother, which was a particular highlight, and also that the programme was only £5. Apart from that, it's pretty well summed up. Actually, George Sampson was amazing too. Love you, George. All the way through I wished that I was 10 years younger so I could fancy him.
  • I went into the Carphone Warehouse to get a cheap mobile phone to take with me this weekend. It's a bit of a con, cos they say you can have a mobile for £4.99, but you have to buy a £10 top up. I've never had a pay as you go phone, so I don't know whether this is worth it, is it going to last? I just don't know. It didn't matter though, because I think the salesman took a bit of a shine to me and gave me this phone I was looking at for free. He said that drug dealers come in and swap their phones round all the time because they're paranoid. Worst salesman ever, but I wasn't bothered. Thank you drug dealers, thank you Carphone Warehouse.
  • Not sure why they call it 'Carphone Warehouse' - has it been called that since the halcyon days of in-car phones? My mum had one of those when she had her own business. It was totally rad. We had, pretty much, the hottest (not physically hot) car EVER. ALL of the windows were electric, so were the wing mirror adjusters. The colour was 'greenstone', which meant it looked like it was a dark grey colour, but when the light shone on it, it went sparkly green. It was a Fiat Tempra.
    At the time, my parents were doing pretty well financially, I went to a well nice school. and got awesome presents for Christmas like a Go-Go dog and a Sylvanian Families vintage mansion. The mansion was a bit of a waste, because in the end me and my brother just used it as a base for the Autobots to hide from the Decepticons. I think the same year, my brother got Scorponock (Dreamwave version under Megatron, well evil), so he pretty much needed the vintage mansion to look after the troops. I also think he got a dart board and darts for Christmas, as I distinctly remember there being a lot of little holes all over the outer shell of the mansion. This could also, of course, be attributed to Bruticus going postal on it. Either way, I wasn't that bothered.
    How have I digressed so much? Oh yeah, so Carphone Warehouse. Great place. Shop there.
  • You know how I said I was gonna go early? I have ended up staying late.
Today I have been thinking a lot about the game version of 'The Hobbit' for the Commodore64. I'm starving.

Seeya.

Tuesday 23 June 2009

Glastonbury 2009 - prepping

When I say 'prepping', I mean I called my mum and said I didn't have anything, she asked me what I needed, and now I have stuff. I still had to go and get my own backpack, like. I don't like owning my own backpack, it almost says 'look at me, I travel!' - which I don't. Well, not all the time. And I don't think I'd like to slog it out round the world living out of a backpack and sharing mudhuts with rats. I would definitely much rather have 5* hotels. I have the internet.

So, yeah, anyway, with that in mind it's a WONDER that I'm going to Glastonbury. Or any festivals, for that matter. I moan about the dirt, but then 365 days pass and I'm well up for it again. I haven't been to Glasto for a few years, mainly because the last time I went the rain was torrential and it completely flooded out. This is why I usually stick with ATP and indoor events. I'm sure it's going to be great, though.
I'm apprehensive about my welly situation... I really like the ones I have, but they're a bit too big for me. I can see many 'welly still stuck in mud, but Ellie still walking' situations occurring.

We're not going down until Thursday evening, which suits me fine - less chance of getting EVEN MORE DIRT all over myself.

This is a tentative list of stuff I wouldn't mind seeing:

Thursday: Metronomy

Friday: Lily Allen, Fleet Foxes, Regina Spektor, General Fiasco, The Streets, Q Tip, Animal Collective, British Sea Power

Saturday: Eagles of Death Metal, Broken Family Band, PASSION PIT, Hockey, Bon Iver

Sunday: Blur, Nick Cave, Micachu & the Shapes, Brand New


Probs won't see hardly any of them.

Monday 22 June 2009

Warm tonight

I'm so warm that I feel as if I've been punched in the head, urrghh!

Anyway, to business. I read quite a distressing comment on Facebook, from on girl I went to school with to another...

"Congratulations on geting (sic) married and being pregnant xxxx"

I think it is, possibly, the most depressing sentence I've ever read. I know the girl who sent it had all the best intentions for it, and I definitely know that the girl who received it would have been really grateful, but it made me feel really empty. Someone must know what I mean?

I had big plans for this blog entry, but I left it so long in the day to send, that now I'm flat out of inspiration and all I can think about is watching season 3 of Ugly Betty and eating pineapple, neither of which I shall be doing.

I was also going to go into great length about going to see Britain's Got Talent LIVE!, except now I can't really be bothered to do that either, though I did sit and read through the programme before and I reckon I could have done a much better write-up of the acts who are on. Bit more biased according to who I like the best. Of course.

Written too much shit. Am v. tired now. Maybe tomorrow I will go through my top three fears, which are probably:

  • death
  • going into space
  • going to jail

Monday 15 June 2009

In position

Getting a bit sick of always having to sit in the same position on my bed in order to make use of some premium stolen Internet. I keep on having this epiphany that the wireless signal I'm stealing has actually been set up to catch people like me out as Internet stealers. It doesn't seem all that bogus at 1mb/s download speeds - and all I have to do is sit here:

And get a bad back. Seems too easy.

Anyway, today I made a really great iPod playlist when I was on the bus. 'On-The-Go 1' is it's moniker for the time being. 'Bus Sounds' might be the next stage for it.
I've taken the liberty of writing out what's on it and saying why I love these songs so much. I'm no music journo, so my descriptions are really crap and biased, but hopefully you'll agree if you've heard them, or want to hear them if you haven't. Whatever bro.


1. Elle S'appelle - Little Flame - think this is the only song of theirs that I actually like, cos it's the only one that doesn't sound like they just completely ripped off Hot Club de Paris or National School. More like a double rip off of the two, but it works and is full of joy. Love it.

2. Mint Royal - Don't Falter - I remember when this came out. I was still at high school. I had it on a mix on my minidisc player (remember those? I didn't think anything would ever come smaller than a MINIDISC. Clue was in the name!) and used to listen to it on the bus all the time. I HATED getting the bus. Thinking about it, a half to the first stop was only 27p. Great days. Anyway, if you don't like this song, then I don't know what's up with you. It's got Lauren Laverne on it as well. It's almost 10 years old, but you would never know.

3. Desaparecidos - Mañana - You know when a band slips out of your consciousness, but then someone reminds you of them, you pick up your iPod and whereyou'd usually just skip past them, you stop and think 'I am DEFINITELY listening to this!'? This happened to me the other day. Someone said 'do you like Desaparecidos?', and I thought 'christ, YES, I do!', and I haven't looked back since. This is my favourite song on Read Music / Speak Spanish. It's mega full of energy. ACE. There's one of those cute conversation interludes at the end, just before the next song comes in. The next song, 'Greater Omaha', reminded me of...

4. Calories - Drugged - pretty much one of the greatest song I've heard this year so far. It's so simple, and at times mainly sounds like drunk men (rowdy, but not horrible) singing together, but it's brilliant. I don't really know what else to say about it. Give it a listen.

5. Sebadoh - Skull - Don't think I could ever tire of this song. Unless you locked me in a room and just had it on repeat, obviously. It's so good. I think it gives an important insight into drug-taking, too. I'm always sort of... not TOUCHED by the lyrics, but I think the whole song is important. Well good. Love Sebadoh.

6. Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - Oregon Girl- Was gonna put 'Travel Song' on here, but thought it was 'too obvious'. Wish I was from Oregon.

7. Wolf Parade - Grounds For Divorce - PERFECT SONG! It reminds me of hundreds of different occasions all at once. The way Dan Boeckner sings is wonderful. DOO DEE DOO DOO DOO DEE DOO DOO. That's me doing the tune. Can you see how strained these descriptions are getting? Jeez.

8. Les Savy Fav - Sweat Descends - Nothing much to say about this but YEAAAH! WOOOOO! BEST SONG EVER!!!!!!

9. Death Cab For Cutie - Expo '86 - GREAT SONG. SO GREAT. Keep wondering what 'Expo 86' is? I was alive in '86. Why wasn't I invited to this expo??? "I AM WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO GO WRONG, I AM WAITING FOR FAMILIAR RESOLVE"

10. Get Up Kids - I'm A Loner Dottie, A Rebel - How could you not love a song that's called this? Even before you've heard it you love it loads. Well, I do anyway. I remember once I went to see them and they played this live. I almost cried, cos I'm so emo and ting. ~cry.


WELL, that was fun. I got bored towards the end, as you can probably tell. Watching Big Brother now. In bed. What a life.

Friday 12 June 2009

Hiya

If you've come here because I've bullied you into it from Twitter, HELLO

Sunday 7 June 2009

Manchester Piccadilly - freak spotting

Train station, innit? I mean, Manchester is totally full of freaks at the best of times, but this place is FREAK INTERCHANGE, especially on a Friday night / Saturday morning.

I've never really seen any drama go down in there, though. No one getting arrested or fighting or anything like that. Am I going down there at the wrong times?

It used to be quite exciting a couple of years back when you stood at platform 13 (North Wales bound) looking down onto where the Star & Garter is and there was loads of prostitutes hanging around. But then I think they got a little scared off because they started building some halls of residence, then they opened a really nice hotel and generally scared everyone off.

The hotel (this one) is all dark glass. I think I'd quite like a job cleaning a couple of the windows now and again.

Friday 22 May 2009

TRAINS

Some things I didn't realise about YPRs (Young Persons Railcards) that really hit home today:

  • They cost £26. TWENTY SIX POUNDS!! I remember when they were £20 (and I begrudged paying that, I really did)
  • They only last up til the age of 25. Which is BULLSHIT. If you're going to charge £26 for it, make it last until you're 26. This means I only have 1 year left on mine. AARRGGHH.
  • Why do I have to re-fill in the form for one every year? Just give me a new railcard, the photocard NEVER CHANGES (much my my chagrin, as I look like a child on mine)
Actually, my only gripe was the first two points, the other was a minor whinge that popped into my head as I was going through. £26. I filled in the form then put it in my bag. The things I do for reduced transport. I am actually sat on a train at this very moment in time. Manceinion - Llandudno. I stop somewhere in between. Love living near Wales. I should be proficient in Welsh, really. I ain't though.
Just stopped at Newton-le-Willows (had to look at the sign to make sure I'd capitalised that in all the right places). Seeing how long I can hold out without moving my bag off the seat next to me. I hope people think that having my laptop out and tapping furiously at the keys means that I;m writing some PRETTY IMPORTANT MEMOIRS.

I have been wondering for the past couple of days whether it's okay to write a blog entry based on slagging off people you work with. Decided that it's kind of not okay. I might make up a case study. IF YOU GET WHAT I MEAN? ;) ;)
No, no one cares about that crap really. But I will say this:

I really hate hypochondriacs.

Glad we've got that out of the way. Look at that above, I started a sentence with the word 'but'. When I was about... six years old, I was MEGA at reading. I read ANYTHING that was put in front of me. I was reading The Hobbit when I was still in prep school (but this was basically only really because my brother and I had the game on the Commodore 64, and he was too lazy to read it, but the game was really good because you could type in commands and that was how the game went, so we needed to know what happened in the book in order to complete the game - this was left to me), which was a mean feat for any small child, really. Anyway, so, once (and this is some great advice that I remember) my teacher said that only THE BEST writers are allowed to start sentences with 'but' or 'and'. You have to be practically magical. Not saying I AM, there really was no excuse for starting a sentence with the word 'but' up there, JUST REMEMBER THAT ADVICE, OKAY?
I'm definitely not a good writer. This stuff is just what is bouncing around my head at any given time. Sometimes I feel like I might burst if I don't tell someone exactly what is on my mind. I think blogs only work for this if you can be bothered to actually sit and type the words out. Twitter is also good for this, tweeting doesn't even take a minute.

Just stopped at Earlestown. I don't think I had ever heard of Earlestown until I started going into Manchester on the train, which was about 10 years ago. Okay, that feels like a really long time now.

Oh no, this got boring.

BYE! X

Saturday 16 May 2009

Rude numbers

We all know that '69' is the rudest number of them all.

Friday 15 May 2009

Dunno what I've done here

I changed the template for the way this looks because I was bored, but now it looks a bit daft.
I opted for the white because it signifies my love/hate relationship with dairy. I love dairy. I love it a whole bunch, but it doesn't love me and makes me feel really ill. As it goes, I am suffering a bit now. Someone gifted me a cake this morning and PROMISED that there wasn't anything in it that could make me feel bad, but I think they lied. Good cake, like... not enjoying the repercussions.

This week I am mostly loving:

The Get Up Kids (reunion tour in the summer? ER, yes please)
CHEEZLY
Unicorn t-shirts
No Age t-shirts
The Mae Shi
ATP

And have been hating:

Colleagues
TIME ZONES
Being tired
Dairy
TIME ZONES

YEEEAAAHH.

Tuesday 12 May 2009

Here are some of the best things that I have ever seen:





I know, right? Amazing. My friend Gareth took them for me. If you go and buy his band's records and stuff then maybe he'll have enough money to buy me these. I need the unicorn, especially. NEED. And I really would not mind the big dino, but one of the little ones would suffice.

Going to see Dan Auerbach tonight. Pretttyyy psyched.

Been at ATP this weekend. It was mega, as ever, but I'm totally dying right about now. My head is tingling. I think it might explode.

Saturday 2 May 2009

I love you from the bottom of my pencil case

I have done that thing that I promised myself I wouldn't do... not update this.
You know when you're just sort of a bit happier than normal and you don't feel like moaning on the internet to no one? Well, I think that's what's happened.
Life's okay, man.

Here is some music I have been loving this week (I'm not going to upload it, I'm sure you're all wiley enough to find this crap if you're not willing to pay for it):

Parenthetical Girls - Safe As Houses

Especially track 3, "Oh Daughter / Disaster"

Descendents - Everything Sucks

Especially track 2, "I'm The One"

Nirvana - From The Muddy Banks of the Wishkah

Especially track 7, "Lithium"

Smashing Pumpkins - Melon Collie & the Infinite Sadness

Especially track 2 on disc 1, "Tonight, Tonight"

And also loads of The Smiths.

What's on your decks?

Monday 13 April 2009

HOLLA IF YOU READ THIS BLOG!

Or, like, just leave a message.

Saturday 11 April 2009

Britain's Got 'Talent'

This is what happens when you venture to the 'rents on a Saturday night... Britain's Got Talent.
I've never seen this show before, which I'm quite glad about, because it is pure shocking, though very funny to watch with my parents.

I'm still confused as to why Amanda Holden is a judge??

Thursday 9 April 2009

Mud gorning




Had this little screen open for a while now. I would have had this finished a long time ago had it not been for my friend Ellie pestering me to play Lexulous on Facebook.

So, hello 24. So far today I have:

Worn the wrong jeans (see: photos)

Put on a different perfume to yesterday (Gucci II... the scent kind of falls off you. I feel like I should be reapplying it every ten minutes, it's such a beautiful fragrance)

Seen absolutely no one I like or love

Received no cards, but one present

Eaten an awesome bowl of Special K Bliss (chocolate and strawberry, no less)

Really not feeling too inspired today. Thought a lot about the ridiculousness of shouting 'OI' to someone in a busy street.

Wednesday 8 April 2009

Hoochie mama

So, here it is. Last day of being 23. Quick round up of what I've done so far:

Got up

Had a shower

Put on clean jeans (special occasion innit)

Wore my favourite perfume (L by De Lolita Lempicka if you were wondering)

Ambled to work (took a train, it was full of arsehole kids going somewhere. They had no guardian with them, which worried me. They're going to get into all sorts of japes, I'm sure. There was also a woman on the train who took about 10 minutes to find her seat, which just happened to be the one I was sat in. There should be some sort of rule. It wasn't a big train, three carriages max, why has it taken you this long to find your seat you dozy mare? My new rule states that if you aren't in your seat 10 minutes from the train departing from the station on your ticket, you lose your seat for being a total idiot.)

Watched a guide dog chew its own foot. I could not stop laughing. Silly thing.

Ate a pastrami and gherkin sandwich for breakfast (well, you're only 23 years, 364 days old once)

Listened to a colleague's sordid tales from the night before

My friend Leanne told me that her nan has a guide dog, but she only pretends to be blind for attention. Once they went to the Tate gallery in Liverpool, and her nan stood, like, 3cms from a picture to make out like she couldn't see it. Old people are funny. I'll be old tomorrow.

BRB, going to cry.

Tuesday 7 April 2009

Came here to recount all sorts of awesome tales, but now that I'm here I can't remember any of them.
Had a very stressful day getting everything sorted for the end of year finance gubbins. We're obsessed with money, aren't we? It's mental. Having to accrue money over from last years budget to this years unless you'll lose it?! Lose it where, exactly?! Can't we just have one long budget that just gets topped up every month, a little bit like a salary?
I used to think that salaries got paid at the start of the year, the entire lump sum. Used to baffle me something rotten, 'BUT HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS??? I'D SURELY SPEND IT ALL!'
I was wrong, like, of course it gets paid every month, but I don't think I'd be wrong about people spending it all at once. I did that with my student loan, nightmare.

Tomorrow is my final day of being 23. I feel thoroughly old and worn. I have wrinkles round my eyes. This teaches me one thing: stop smiling so much. It also tells me: BOTOX, BOTOX, PLASTIC SURGERY. Damn right I'm having placky surgo. I'm not looking old ever. Not a channy.

Anyway, 24, I await your evil clutches.

Saturday 4 April 2009

Zombies - what to do when they arrive.

I think I've watched enough zombie movies to know what to do and what not to do when they finally arrive.
I am definitely taking the stance of MIlla Jovovich in my favourite film, Resident Evil; sexy and hard as fook. There's no zombie-messing with Milla (character name: ALICE), she just goes straight in, boots a-blazing. Her only problem is with HUMANS, who are always getting her down (not Eric Mabius, though), like her HUSBAND, SPENCE! And those guys who take Matt off to the Nemesis Project.
I think I've totally outed myself as a huge fan of the Resident Evil films. Well, guess what? I am. Anything with zombies in. They're going to come, you know - I'll be well prepared when they do. Got myself a nice YSL dress and shiny leather boots to sort them out with. Alternatively, I could be like Frank West, a total fag with a camera taking pictures of womens boobs for points.

Flying cars are a bad idea.

I just don't really get this. Why would you want a flying car? It would have to be the most sturdy machine around... might as well use a helicopter, it's basically the same thing, or even the old classic; THE AEROPLANE. We have this to fly, we don't need to be messing around flying cars, it would be pandemonium. You can't draw lines in the sky and expect cars to keep in their path. And they'd be getting in the way of birds and aeroplanes and helicopters. And what if they all started to drop out of the sky? Loads of car crashes happen everyday, it would be chaos.
No, sorry, I'm not buying it.

Just a quick one...

And it's not even a moan, here are 3 great things about today:

1. New Bill Callahan album. I love him. He and I should be together forever.

2. I was browsing through a big pile of crap in my bedroom in my parents house, and I came across a promo CD by Thirteen:13. Remember them? I effin' loved them circa '01. I will be listening to that for the rest of the day. If anyone wants it uploaded (I'm aware that no one reads this blog, therefore I don't feel bad about thinking that I probably won't do this), I will upload it for you. Schmucks.

3. I got up at about 6.30am. I love mornings. Hurrah, non-wasted Saturday.

Okay, that's enough cheer for now. TTFN bozos.

Friday 3 April 2009

Spoiled by the internet

It kills me when people don't take notice of things, I get so riled.
I think less people take notice of things these days because we have the internet, and you don't have to know where something is to be able to find it straight away. We're lazy.

I say we, I am the exception as I take notice of pretty much everything in the world.

I'm in work and bored. The thought of actually doing work is making me want to fall asleep. Forget it.

Monday 30 March 2009

My problem with... food.

I don't have a problem with food, per se... well, I suppose I do. I love food, but that's not really a problem. I suppose what I'm getting at isn't food, it's food on a plate and the way I eat it.

Everyone always picks up on it, usually because I end up ditching the knife and fork for most of the meal and using my fingers. I eat everything in order, and I never pile all little bits of food onto the fork together, a constant gripe with most people who think that this is the only way to enjoy food, all together. But then people eat fish fingers, beans and chips all on the same plate, hardly the work of a Michelin star chef, and insist on stick bits of it all together on the same fork. What is the point? Fine, dip stuff in, don't pile. Stop the piling. Enjoy stuff on their own.

Oh yeah, and let me eat with my fingers, I'm only little.